Talking about the people we used to have a crush on as teenagers can be an embarrassing business, and most people keep that stuff to themselves. Not Pete Davidson, though. In a recent interview with Paper, the Saturday Night Live star and public face of Big Dick Energy got real honest about the celebrity he couldn’t get enough of when he was younger.

“Well, I used to jerk off to Leonardo DiCaprio,” he said. “Uhh, like his acting.”

He went on to describe just how infatuated he was with DiCaprio in the aftermath of Romeo + Juliet and Titanic.

“Yeah. I used to have a HUGE crush on Leonardo DiCaprio,” he said. “I had this huge poster of him from The Beach in my room, and there used to be, like, ‘Leo love books’… Do you remember? Like, right when Titanic came out [when I was] in like third or fourth grade, he was just like, ‘teen milk.’ There were love books and I had all of them. He was the coolest.”

Davidson offered neither context nor clarification for what “love books” or “teen milk” are (this reporter was a bi-curious teenager at the peak of Leo-mania in 1999/2000 and has absolutely no clue what either term means), but did add that traces of his admiration lingered long into adulthood, making him extra-nervous when he encountered DiCaprio in a professional setting.

“I’ve met him twice,” he said, “and I’ve just shaken hands and run away fast, like… Yeah, it’s too much.” Getting overwhelmed in the presence of your crush and and fleeing? Mood, Pete. Mood.

It shouldn’t be surprising to anyone that Davidson is so open in telling these kinds of stories. While he’s pretty well-known for dating women, he doesn’t have any toxic, “traditional” hang-ups about sexuality.

“I find it super weird that it’s weird that a straight dude has gay friends,” he said in the same interview. “Like, some straight dudes do have gay friends, but like they make like a big show of it as opposed to them genuinely being a friend… Anybody that I fuck with is sweet and morally sound, you know?”