“This was a really difficult thing to do,” Davidson said. “You feel small. You feel super insecure.”

Pete Davidson wasn’t in on the joke.

The “Saturday Night Live” cast member, who parted ways with the live sketch comedy series in May 2022, reflected on how his high-profile dating life affected his status on the famed NBC show. Davidson became a cast member in 2014 when he joined at age 20 as a featured player.

“When your own show [pokes fun at you], I’d be sitting in the back watching the cold open and — the cold open [is] topical, political humor, whatever’s in the culture. And then, making fun of you,” Davidson said during Jon Berthnal’s “Real Ones” podcast (via People). “Then you’ve got to walk out and do a sketch next and hit your mark and the show just made fun of you. So, why are they going laugh at you? Like, they just dogged you in front of everyone. And you’re like, ‘I’m a loser, man.’”

Davidson continued, “These are the people I’ve been with for almost a decade. I grew up in front of these people. They’ve watched me through the most difficult time in my life, and they’ve been there for me. And nobody ever showed more leeway and grace to me than [‘SNL‘ creator] Lorne Michaels, and I owe my life to that guy, but it was confusing cause the nature of entertainment is the nature of this business. At the end of the day, that’s what it is. This was a really difficult thing to do. You feel small. You feel super insecure.”

Davidson is continuing his relationship with Lorne Michaels’ Broadway Video, the production company behind “SNL,” as Davidson writes, executive produces, and stars in the new meta Peacock series “Bupkis” under the banner.

The decision to turn the camera toward a dramatized version of his own life was rooted in taking control of the narrative.

“Suddenly you’re in this zeitgeist and that has nothing to do with the work,” Davidson said of his tabloid-driven fame around his A-list relationships. “And that’s a really shitty feeling. I became more known before the work was there, but I was always working.”

Davidson shared, “I’m in my 20s and I’ve dated people. And for some reason, that’s very crazy and interesting to people. I don’t think it’s interesting. I’ve been in show business for, like, half my life almost — for 14 or 15 years and on a national TV show. In 12 years I’ve dated 10 people. I don’t think that’s that crazy, but to some people, that’s very interesting. That became all anyone would talk about.”

He added, “I’m not, like, flexing, you know what I mean? And these people that I’ve dated, I met them at work. I wasn’t in anyone’s DMs, no one was in mine. I worked at one of the five Hollywood epicenters of where you meet people and that’s how it happened.”

Davidson was previously engaged to Ariana Grande, appeared in reality series “The Kardashians” as Kim Kardashian’s then-boyfriend, and is now linked to “Bupkis” and “Bodies Bodies Bodies” co-star Chase Sui Wonders.

“I’m cool with the joke,” Davidson summed up. “I get the late-night jokes.”