The pop icon opens up about what she experienced while under a 13-year conservatorship in her upcoming memoir, ‘The Woman in Me,’ out Oct. 24

Britney Spears with sons Sean Preston and Jayden James in 2019. PHOTO: BRITNEY SPEARS/INSTAGRAM

Britney Spears is reflecting on the restrictions placed on her during her 13-year conservatorship.

In her new memoir The Woman in Me, the pop icon says she stopped challenging the court-ordered conservatorship — which gave her father Jamie and a lawyer control over her personal and financial affairs in 2008 following a public breakdown — so that she could spend time with her children.

The “Hold Me Closer” singer writes that, after being hospitalized twice for involuntary psychological assessments, she had tried to push back being under her father Jamie Spears’ control of her life and estate.

“After being held down on a gurney, I knew they could restrain my body any time they wanted to,” Spears writes. “And so I went along with it.”

Jayden James, Britney Spears and Sean Preston in 2013. MATT BARON/BEI/SHUTTERSTOCK

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The superstar writes that she did what was asked of her so as not to ruin her chances of seeing her two sons, Sean Preston, 18, and Jayden James, 17, whom she shares with ex-husband Kevin Federline.

“My freedom in exchange for naps with my children — it was a trade I was willing to make,” Spears writes.

In The Woman in Me, the “Toxic” singer writes of how she felt she was “robbed” of her freedom and stripped “of [her] womanhood” after being placed under the conservatorship in 2008 following a public breakdown.

Her father was her conservator for nearly 14 years until he was removed from the role in September 2021 after Spears gave an impassioned public testimony pleading to end the conservatorship in June of that year. In November, the conservatorship was terminated.

“Thirteen years went by with me feeling like a shadow of myself. I think back now on my father and his associates having control over my body and my money for that long and it makes me feel sick,” Spears writes in the memoir, excerpted exclusively in this week’s issue of PEOPLE.

Britney Spears’ The Woman in Me.

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Ahead of the release of The Woman in Me, the pop star opened up to PEOPLE in an exclusive cover story about feeling empowered to tell her own story for the first time.

In an email interview, she shared that, even with her iconic music career, she’s still proudest to be a mom to sons Sean Preston and Jayden James.

“Starting a family was my dream come true,” she told PEOPLE of her boys, who now live with their dad in Hawaii but remain in contact with Spears. “Being a mom was my dream come true.”

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 Britney Spears Describes What It Was Like Living Under Conservatorship: I Became a ‘Child-Robot’ (Exclusive)

Spears will release The Woman in Me on Oct. 24 through Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. It is now available for pre-order.

For an exclusive excerpt and interview with Britney Spears, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands everywhere Friday.